IKNOWSOMETHINGYOUDONTKNOW!

You guys wouldn't imagine what it takes Lynn to free up enough time to write a foreword to a book, but let's just say the additional expense was financed on credit, sold as mortgage backed securities, underwritten and co-sponsored by the state of California general assembly - and now Nicholas Cage is bankrupt and can't sell his foreclosed mansion.

This is serious stuff.

Lynn Allen
The wooer of doctors
and Obiwan of Autodesk
she who gazes toward wavering customers with
a wave of one hand (and a beer in the other)
"This is the software you're looking for"

Poor Steve Jobs
If only Lynn worked for Apple
Steve would be running the UN
And applauding his
One iPad per Child Campaign
An iPhone in Every Pot
And ending each UN Assembly by saying
"One More Thing..."
To the joy of billions

Poor Bill Gates
If only Lynn worked for Microsoft
He wouldn't have to look at
Steve Balmer making faces
at the iPod
While watching his stock flat-line
for the last decade or make
crazy commercials with
Jerry Seinfeld
that no one understood
Not even Larry David

Poor Jerry Yang
If only Lynn worked for Yahoo
He wouldn't be managing a Starbucks
right now somewhere in Sunnyvale
Practicing endlessly in front
of a forsaken espresso machine
Fearful, pale and shaken from the memory
of Mrs. Bartz receiving her coffee
one degree above or below
the mandatory and contractually
agreed upon temperature
She wouldn't say which as
She personally escorted him
from the building

Lynn Allen
Patient to a Fault
Gracious to the Point of Suspicion
Not just "California" nice.
Not just "Sales" nice.
But Genuine
Believable
Recipe Blogging
Twitterer Following
Nice

And don't you dare cross her. ;)